Fake it till you make it

Now that I had a sponsor or mentor and a written inventory, I
was entirely ready to have God remove these defects of character. After sharing
my liabilities and assets with God and someone else, I saw some patterns in my
thinking which caused me to act a certain way.

My beliefs about things, whether true or not, decided the
action I would take which could either be good or bad depending on the
situation. One thing I found out was that I couldn't change anything by myself.
It was similar to when I realized that I was powerless. It was as if I had no
power no matter how much I wished I did. I could quit doing some things, but I couldn't do it all. Here I was supposed to be entirely ready to have God remove these defects of character. I had asked him to, but he didn't and I kept doing the
same things over and over again wishing that I wouldn't. Some days it seemed
that God would indeed remove them. But other days, I failed miserably. God
could remove them but was there something I could do? I believe there is.

The only way to have real lasting change is to change your
thinking. I could act as if God had already answered my prayers. Isn't that
real faith? Fake it till you make it. Act as if that defect of character has
been removed by concentrating on doing the opposite. For example, if I believe
that God has removed fear then I will practice trust. If I struggle with
selfishness then I will practice thinking of others. If I struggle with pride,
then I will practice unconditional love.

"Fake it till you make it" is faith in action.

Pushing towards excellence.

Keith

The Scariest Place to Be

My mind is a dangerous neighborhood, I shouldn't go in there alone.

Step 5 in AA is admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. For this step we will need a sponsor or a spiritual advisor to talk to. When it comes to revealing yourself totally to someone else that can seem pretty frightening. It was for me, but I knew if I didn't do it I would drink again. The thing is, if I would have let myself off the hook, I believe I would have suffered the consequences of half-hearted efforts. You truly reap what you sow and this way is difficult sometimes. But I believe it to be the easier, softer way when you compare it to the way I was living before.

When I forced myself to open up, my sponsor was kind and loving and forgiving. I thought he might think lesser of me because of my past, but he wasn't judgmental and he shared with me some of his experiences from the past. When I left I felt like a ton of weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I think that sharing things about my life was a test from God just to see if I was really willing to do whatever it took to be sober. When it was over, I had the same feeling you feel when you ace a test.

Pushing Towards Excellence

Keith

Weird But Wise

How do you pick someone to be a sponsor, discipler, or mentor? First, I would say you want to pick someone you want to be like and someone that is more spiritually mature than you. When I first got sober I picked a guy that laughed a lot because I wanted to have fun. I didn't think I could be sober and have fun at the same time. Over time, distance, from moving, forced me to find someone else. That is good though, because it stretches you even further. One person can only take you so far so you need others to come into your life and push you to greater and greater things.

My sponsor used to say weird things to me. One time when I was having a problem with a co-worker he told me, Keith, I want you to go out of your way to be nice to her and help her out. Another time he told me, Keith, for one month nobody's wrong; even if they're wrong, they're not wrong. He also told me things like, you can't think your way into right living. You have to act your way into right thinking. Action, action, action. Go through the motion, the emotion will follow. He also told me happiness is a by-product of good living.

Weird but wise.

Keith
Pushing Toward Excellence

P.S. Pray for the tsunami victims and for Japan.

The Sharpening

I would like to write about accountability. Why is it important? There was a study done on horses. One horse by himself could pull 2,500 pounds. They repeated the test with two horses and together they were able to pull 12,500 pounds. That’s five times as much as by themselves. I think the same holds true for people. Not by strapping them to a weight, but by strapping them together by accountability.

I know if I talk to someone about a problem I’m having, for some reason I’m able to think a little clearer. Especially when that problem rises again. It is easier to let go and not do the wrong thing if I know I’m going to have to tell someone about it.

What if you knew a person was going to specifically ask you about a character defect or ask how you were doing on being kind, loving, and generous? Don’t you think that has the possibility to change the way you act? Proverbs 27:17 says that as iron sharpens iron so one man sharpens another. This is true. Although it might seem scary to share some or all of your innermost thoughts with someone, it will help you to become the man or woman that God wants you to be and it happens a lot faster than trying to do it on your own. A problem shared is a problem cut in half.

Pushing towards excellence.

Keith

From Mountains to MoleHills

Image by Karin Lauria

http://www.imagekind.com/Making-Mountains-Out-of-Molehills-art?imid=c1e9e9af-95fd-41db-868f-603a1f02d6f1

Do you ever ask yourself these questions? Why do I act this way? Why does that person bother me so much? Or say to yourself: I should be better than this. Do you ever feel like you’re so far away from God that you wonder if he will take you back? Do you have trouble forgiving people that hurt you?

I would say that most people ask these all the time and they are probably pretty normal thinking patterns. Would you like to get out of this rut? The first thing I had to do was to name and claim my sins; my selfishness, my fear, my envy, dishonesty, laziness, unforgiveness and my pride. These things blocked me from God.

When I started practicing the opposite, I knocked down the mountains that were blocking me from God. I started practicing unselfishness, trust, humility, honesty, diligence, forgiveness, and love. These things I could not do by myself, but I would pray and ask God to help me. As much as I was willing, God helped me.

I think it is vital to sit down and take a look at these things that are blocking me and write them down. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. If I don’t look at what’s making me the way that I am, then I will never be able to change it. I can’t change everything over night. But little by little, one at a time, I can reduce the effect that some of these things have on my life. If I practice the opposite, with God’s help I can turn mountains into mole hills.

Keith

You have what it takes to change your thinking and change your life.

WILL LIGHTNING STRIKE?

 “Believe more deeply. Hold your face up to the Light, 
even though for the moment you do not see.” –Bill W.

I became a Christian when I was 10 or so. I gave my life to Christ. I did what most Christian kids do like go to camp and Sunday School. But for some reason I never was taught to turn my will over to God. Some things happened to me when I was a kid that should never happen to any kid and it affected my perception of myself. I grew to believe that I was not good enough to be a Christian and thought that I was going to go to hell. I also thought that I might as well enjoy the ride there.

Flash forward 14 years. Reaching the bottom of my alcohol and drug addiction, I’m faced once again with the question of God. I believed in God. I believed that I had to change my perception of God or I would drink again. It’s hard to turn your life and will over to a God you think is going to strike you with lightning. So I changed my thinking. What if God were all loving and all forgiving? Would that idea of God work for me? I would try it and find out. Sometimes I forget and break out the guilt club. Then I remember that my God is all loving and all forgiving. What is your perception of God? Does it need to be changed?

Keith
Pressing On With Excellence

THE LONELIEST PLACE TO BE

In the parable of the prodigal son, the son found himself longing to eat the pods that the hogs were eating. When he realized this, I believe he came to the end of himself. I have been there.

 My thoughts were: “if this is life I’m sick of it and I don’t want this anymore.” This is the loneliest place to be. You don’t want to be here long. Still I think I needed to be there long enough to figure out that what I was doing wasn’t working anymore and that there has to be something better than this. Someone told me around that time that my best thinking had gotten me there. That was a hard pill to swallow, but it was true. And I couldn’t go any further until I truly admitted this. I was on my own, truly powerless.

Do you find yourself here? If you do, it is a bittersweet place to be. But, it can be a great place to start over. It’s never too late for a do-over. If you’re truly powerless then you need power. And you’re at the place where you’re willing to accept that power. That power is the Father, run to Him now. Be free and change your life for good. God wants to have a relationship with you. That is his greatest desire. Then, you won’t be at the loneliest place any more.

Keith
Pressing On with Excellence