Perpetual Forgiveness Machines

Why are Christians so judgmental? I know I fall into it. Not really on purpose, I just have a slant towards measuring others critically. Not all the time and I’m far better than I used to be about this. The Bible says “Judge not, lest you be judged.” [Matthew 7:1] Jesus himself said, “Forgive us our trespasses AS we forgive those who trespass against us.” [Matthew 6:12] That AS implies that with the same measure that we use, it will be given back to us. Still it seems for me that I forget where I was, or rather how I was, when I found Jesus. I was at the bottom and capable of anything. I think that I sometimes forget what I’m capable of and that plus a little insecurity of my own is why I judge others.

So what’s the tool I can use to stop being so judgmental? How about what Jesus said: forgiveness. Forgiveness towards others stops me in my tracks for judging. I cannot be critical and forgiving at the same time. Also, if I forgive myself I won’t have insecurity in the first place. God-esteem is far better than self-esteem. Do you have trouble with this or am I the only one? We need to become perpetual forgiveness machines.

Keith
Pressing On With Excellence

Do you struggle with low self-esteem?

I bet you will find that people (myself included) who judge and condemn have low self esteem. Low self esteem causes me to be judgmental because if I can point out something in someone else, then I don’t have to look at myself. In other words, because of my own insecurity, I seek to find something wrong with others, to point it out and tear them down to make myself look better.

Poor self esteem is a sin and a lie to myself. How? Because I don’t accept God’s love and forgiveness---if I say to myself I’m fat or I’m stupid, I can’t do anything right or I should be better than this, then that is wallowing in self pity and guilt. If I do this then I’m not accepting God’s love and forgiveness. This is really a pride issue because God says he forgives me. But I can’t forgive myself and that is putting myself above God and I am greater than He.

This is one of the reasons self forgiveness is so important. I believe that Satan uses this guilt and self pity to keep us as Christians from being effective. See the thing is, Satan knows you’re forgiven and if he can keep you from feeling this freedom, then he’s won. Because with this feeling you can’t stop it. It will show. What we need is God esteem because we fail often. But God’s forgiveness is real and refreshed every moment.

I need to ASK God to help me to see when I’m being judgmental with others and to be sensitive to how I talk to myself so that I can see when I’m going down a negative spiral. Then, when I notice this I need to take captive every thought to Christ.

Keith
Pressing On With Excellence

Spiritual Brillo® pads

Let’s talk about relationships. We all have them. The way I see it there is three types of relationships that I have; with God, others, and myself.

 I have a relationship with God.  That’s what the tools are all about. They are designed to remove blockages and to grow my relationship with God.

I have a relationship with others. If that relationship is stressed then my relationship with God is blocked. God is present in others and one way he speaks is through others. If I’m mad or judgmental or criticizing or complaining about someone then I’m effectively putting up a wall between myself and God. I sometimes think God puts people in my life that are like a spiritual Brillo® Pad. They just rub me wrong or we just don’t see eye to eye. Anyway, God uses these people, Christian or not, to help me to become a better person. I used to sit around and complain about these people until I realized that God was using them to shine me up for him.

The third relationship is with myself. This is really not often looked at. Yes, I do have a relationship with myself. I believe we all do. I talk to myself all day long and I have found that if my relationship with myself is messed up, it too will have a tremendous effect on the others. For instance; if I have unforgiveness towards myself I become bitter toward others. I may be easily offended, or become angry when they don’t perform the way I think they should. This is really a pride issue, but I think it also stems from unforgiveness. But it causes me to be judgmental and insecure. (If someone makes me mad there’s a pretty good chance that there is something in that person that reminds me of myself.) And if I’m not right in any of these relationships. It will mess with both of the others.

What’s the tool to use to fix this. Well, here’s what I did. For example: I would be driving down the road and someone would merge and cut me off. I would be mad. And it would go something like this: I would call them some name. Then I might even make a gesture. Then, I would realize that this is not the person that I want to be so I would ask God to forgive that person for being an idiot and I would ask God to forgive me for judging that person. Then I would say out loud to myself, “Keith, I forgive you.” It took around six months of this before I realized that when someone would do that it didn’t hardly bother me any more.

 Self forgiveness is one of the biggest tools that I can use to improve both my relationship with others and God. How are you doing at forgiving yourself? Do you think about your relationship with yourself? Do you have your own tools for forgiving yourself that you could share with me?

Pressing On With Excellence,
Keith

The Solution

I would like to write a little about the solution: God. I couldn’t describe God’s character. If I spent the rest of these blogs trying, I wouldn’t be able to.  I do  however like this song by Fredrick M. Lehman:

           The love of God is greater far
           Than tongue or pen can ever tell;
            It goes beyond the highest star,
            And reaches to the lowest hell.

            Could we with ink the ocean fill,
            And were the skies of parchment made;
            Were every stalk on earth a quill,
            And every man a scribe by trade.
            To write the love of God above
            Would drain the ocean dry;
            Nor could the scroll contain the whole
            Though stretched from sky to sky.

            Oh Love of God, How rich and Pure!
            How measureless and strong.
            It shall forever more endure
            The saints and angels song.

This song is right on target. God’s love is amazing! For so long before I got sober I just couldn’t really believe that He could love me. Because the person that I was, was so bad, but God IS love. He can’t help but love you. That’s His nature. He is not limited in his ability to love. What’s more, he knows all of our past, present, and future sins and loves you anyway. I have a hard time wrapping my head around that. I think that is because I had a hard time forgiving myself for all the things that happened in my life. And because of my lack of forgiveness of myself, that blocked me from allowing myself to be loved by God and to accept God’s love. So forgiveness will be a good start for our toolbox. Use it early and often. For others and especially for yourself. It is enough to know that God loves you.

Pressing On With Excellence,
Keith